The Old Lands - Session 17 - 8/11/2025
New Boot GOosin’
Campaign: The Old Lands
Date Played: 8/11/2025
Location: Ca’nip
Session Summary
The Clone Vaults erupted into chaos as the party faced a possessed Nephal experiment, a brain in a jar, and a mob of intellect devourers. Oberyn’s beherit-forged blade claimed the Nephal’s soul, unveiling the tragic work of the Flesh Cantor, Thaddeus R’yvel. Loot in hand, the crew stumbled into a magical painting and a deadly time loop, breaking it with sharp tongues and sharper wit—earning Stevia a (reusable) scroll capable of casting epic magic in an instant. Slipping past Astaroth’s scent wards (with the help of some very on-brand “dragon deodorant”), the party reached the dragon’s lair… and the fragment of Kalé’s tormented soul he guards.
Battle in the Clone Vaults
The party began in the eerie Clone Vaults, standing before a massive Nephal skeleton suspended in a vat, surrounded by malfunctioning ancient machinery. A brain in a jar—capable of sensing any mind within 90 feet and issuing command at will—loomed as a constant threat. Intellect devourers filled another tank. Ferdinand the battle goose honked his way toward danger and continued to try to provide his best support and distraction towards the angry Nephal clone running at Oberyn.
The party had only mere moments to prepare for the rushing Nephal clone.
An insight check from Stevia revealed a sparking control console and confirmed the brain’s capabilities, prompting the party to plan their movements outside its detection range. Basil opened the fight with an acidic Sorcerous Burst on the frost giant–sized skeleton, burning away flesh and clothes. Stevia followed by inspiring Grim with guidance, and Grim responded by marking the giant with hunter’s mark and hammering it with his Dragonslayer Musket, slowing its advance.
Oberyn closed the distance, Action Surging into a flurry of attacks and delivering the killing blow to the possessed Nephal. As his beherit-forged sword consumed the creature’s soul, Oberyn experienced a psychic flood of its tragic creation by the Flesh Cantor Thaddeus R’Vyle—a decade-old failed experiment kept imprisoned and tortured until the brain in the jar cast command on the sad creature in an attempt to escape the lab. The vault itself was a Golden Age biogenesis lab of the Sinew Weavers, still echoing with the trapped souls of failed clones. It seems this wizard named Thaddeus R’Vyle has repurposed much of the lab and the robots of Ca’nip to do his bidding. What his insane, dark bidding is remains a mystery to the party though.
Grim’s deft hands recovered three rare artifacts from a ruptured vat:
Silver Harmony Pendant – Allows polymorph once per day.
Golden Age Clone Flask – Revives a PC within 1 minute, with a minor physical quirk.
Harmonic Codex Cylinder – Genetic “song” that could be traded for a massive favor or used to create another Nephilim clone.
Oberyn and Ferdinand stand down a possessed Nephal clone.
The Painting Loop
In the throne hall beyond, fractured voidglass pillars shimmered under dreamlike lighting. A wall mural radiated powerful divine and conjuration magic, its pigments impossibly fresh. When Ferdinand touched it, he was sucked into the painting—and without hesitation, Stevia dove in after him. One by one, the rest of the party followed.
Inside, they were transported to the Battle of Ca’nip during the First Ball - a chaotic clash between angels and giants. A colossal angel descended upon them, unleashing sunburst for 82 damage—only for the party to “respawn” twelve seconds earlier, caught in a time loop.
They discovered that breaking the loop required five persuasion successes before three failures, each success rewinding the scene further back in time. Stevia led with razor-edged roasts (“Your divine frenzy? We call it a midlife crisis with better pyrotechnics.”), Oberyn bolstered with magically enhanced appeals, Grim delivered heartfelt reassurances, and Basil joined in with dry wit. Each reset revealed visions, including Beau Abernathy’s monstrous form approaching the Great Oubliette and a traumatic memory of Stevia’s brother Benjamin’s death at the hands of an invisible, singing creature.
On the final success, Stevia found notes on magical parchment regarding the legendary Scroll of Instant Casting. Stevia cracked the final bit of esoteric and arcane mystery, empowering Stevia to be the first person to use this technique in literally ages. This enables her to cast any epic-level or long-casting-time spell instantly at the cost of 2 Sanity.
Through the Dragon’s Scent
The party returned to the throne hall with new loot and 1,213 gold pieces—Stevia immediately found 5 more to make the total satisfyingly round. In the search, Grim discovered the corpse of Perrig “Sootpockets” Thimblecrank, a gnome artificer from Basil’s old Black Church party. Looting the body revealed the Faithbreaker, a legendary pistol forged with both a beherit and a cipher. It also restored a small portion of Basil’s lost….or perhaps stolen….memory.
With Astaroth’s lair ahead, the group faced the challenge of bypassing his network of seven scent glyphs—abjuration/conjuration wards linked to the dragon’s enhanced sense of smell. Grim identified the scent profile (vanilla, cinnamon, sandalwood), and Stevia realized the party’s remaining vials of Mother’s Insight perfectly matched it. They coated themselves in the fragrant “insect repellent for dragons” and slipped through undetected.
The session ended as they entered Astaroth’s lair: a dome of voidglass suspended in a collapsing city, mirrors reflecting a fragment of Kalé’s tormented soul—Astaroth’s most fiercely guarded treasure.
Loot
| Item Name | Type | Rarity | Requires Attunement | Description & Effects |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Silver Harmony Pendant | Wondrous Item | Very Rare | Yes | Once per day, cast Polymorph (beasts only; CR limited by caster level). Functions as standard polymorph. |
| Golden Age Clone Flask | Wondrous Item (Consumable) | Very Rare | No | Restores a recently dead PC within 1 minute. Returned soul gains a minor physical change or quirk (similar to Reincarnate). |
| Harmonic Codex Cylinder | Wondrous Item | Rare | No | Silver music roll containing one of Thaddeus R'Vyle’s original “genetic songs.” Can be traded to the right faction for a massive favor or used to create another Nephilim clone. |
| Faithbreaker | Weapon (Pistol) | Legendary | Yes | +2 to attack and damage rolls. Eye of Oog: Advantage on Insight checks against evil-aligned creatures. Pitfall Spike (1/short rest): Bonus action; next hit deals +2d8 radiant and +2d8 force damage, knocks target prone, DC 17 STR save or be pushed 20 ft. Six-shooter design; serpent coiled around an egg motif (beherit + cipher fusion). |
| Scroll of Instant Casting | Scroll (Consumable) | Unique | No | Cast any epic-level or long-casting-time spell instantly. Costs 2 Sanity upon use. (Baseline Sanity 12; at 0 Sanity, the character becomes a hollowed NPC.) |
Trivia & Quotes
Ferdinand told Stevia, “You’re like the mother I never had but always wanted,” moments before walking into the painting.
Grim on hugging Oberyn: “It’s not your fault.” — followed by Stevia’s deadpan, “You think he knows his sword doesn’t have ears?”
The Faithbreaker’s design features a serpent coiled around an egg, a homage to Ahriman’s fall and a clever way to seal the beherit within the gun.
The party successfully bypassed all seven scent glyphs without triggering a single trap.
Stevia’s roast that landed the final persuasion success: “Your divine frenzy? We call it a midlife crisis with better pyrotechnics.”
The Beherit and Cipher infused Faithbreaker (pistol), artifact (requires attunement)
Appearance
Faithbreaker is a heavy six-chamber pistol of dark gunmetal, its surface veined with molten gold lines that pulse faintly in rhythm with the wielder’s heartbeat. The barrel is carved in deep relief with scenes of angelic and demonic figures locked in a spiraling fall, wings tearing like banners in a storm. Near the muzzle, a serpent motif coils tightly, its open mouth forming the front sight.
The grip is fashioned as the coiled body of a serpent wrapped protectively around a smooth, red egg — the Beherit’s seal. The serpent’s scales are etched with impossibly small script that writhes and changes when stared at too long, making comprehension impossible without risking madness.
A dim teal glow runs the length of the barrel’s bore, a telltale sign of the Cipher’s seal embedded in the gun’s inner workings. A faint scent of ozone and scorched parchment hangs around the weapon, and when drawn, the air feels subtly heavier — as though sound and light themselves are bending toward the pistol.
Description
Born of heresy and desperation, Faithbreaker was forged in the aftermath of a secret pact between Ahriman and Udrim. Its heart is a Beherit designed to sway Udrim toward damnation, but fate intervened — the weapon passed into the hands of a brilliant gnomish artificer loyal to the Black Church during the waning days of a desperate war. This artificer bound the pistol with a Cipher of Oog, creating a fusion of infernal judgment, divine wrath, and dream-born unreality.
Legends whisper that the Beherit within still murmurs the original bargain it offered Ahriman, promising the wielder an empire if they will fire it “one final time” in its name. Every pull of the trigger releases a sliver of the Beherit’s stored Source. When Pitfall Smite is invoked, the shot carries the burning memory of Ahriman’s plunge — a vision of the Yellow Lord’s descent through the heavens into the deepest pit, an echo so heavy with divine gravity that it drags both soul and flesh toward ruin.
Faithbreaker is more than a weapon. It is a theological declaration: that no covenant is unbreakable, no faith unassailable, and no soul beyond the reach of the Pit.
Mechanics:
Infernal Crusader: +2 to attack rolls, +2 to damage rolls.
Eye of Oog: you have advantage on Insight checks against evil-aligned creatures.
Pitfall Smite (1/short rest):
As a bonus action, you may declare this shot. Upon striking the target, the Beherit’s seal bursts open, vomiting a shockwave of raw Source so dense it momentarily bends light and sound around it.
The instant the bullet lands, the target’s outline blurs into a double-image — one of their body, and one of a colossal, black-flamed serpent coiling around them. Both are driven into the ground in the same heartbeat, the serpent vanishing in a hiss of molten shadow. The shockwave cracks the earth in a perfect spiral, glowing briefly with gold and black Source before fading.
The target is slammed down into the ground as if struck by a falling star — the force carrying the memory of Ahriman’s plunge through the heavens into the deepest pit. For a split second, the target’s shadow stretches impossibly deep, showing layers of impossible landscapes collapsing beneath them
Effects on hit:Deal an extra 2d8 radiant damage and 2d8 force damage
Target is knocked prone and must make a DC 17 Strength saving throw or be pushed 20 feet in the direction of the shot's force (through enemies, objects, or over ledges as applicable)
